ANY ANSWERS?

'DESPERATE QUESTIONS'

What do you do
When you wake up panicking? 
And it doesn't let up? 
Hour after weary hour? 

What do you do 
When you're trapped in an invisible tube? 
Which is soundproof so no-one can hear you?
And you just can't breath? 
 
What do you do
When minutes seem like hours?
And hours seem like days? 
And they're fucking awful days? 

What do you do
When you need to drain off the agony? 
When you think you're going to explode?
And you can't even cry? 

If you can, let the pain
Flow thru your fingertips 
To the keyboard and the screen 
Because it might just make the difference. 

Will you sound too dramatic? Too silly?
Truth is, people who care about you 
Won't care about that.
So: express yourself.  

 

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Author: Buffy Devane

Anxietist; Cheerleader; Captain Posh.

19 thoughts on “ANY ANSWERS?”

  1. I RUN — literally. Anytime the anxiety is that bad I exercise. When I wake up in panics, however, I get up and pace my house. I wish I could write when I’m anxious, but I struggle to focus when I’m anxious. Love this post btw

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
      Running worked for me for a long time… then it became about 50/50 that it would have no positive effect on my anxiety, so that was disappointing.
      Haha I’ve been a definite anxious pacer… I used to go round and round my central table, with the iPod on & earphones on. Thank you for reminding me of that… can’t believe I’d forgotten.
      I’m sorry the focusing is problematic at such times. As for me, I can write a little on a highly anxious day, like today, but complete, coherent sentences are mostly beyond me … haha you may have noticed! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah tough spot. I use to wake up like that every morning, from childhood right up until a few years ago. I still have those “wake up like that” days but not everyday, thanking God for that. It sucks and hard to say what to do. I just had to do whatever I could do to get through it. Knowing it would end eventually.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gosh; I’m very sorry it lasted for so long. 😦
      My own panic has been since early adulthood, though I’ve been a lifelong worrier (on and off!)
      Sadly there’s no simple answer — if there was we’d’ve known it long ago!
      Gratitude is definitely a big part of feeling positive and getting on thru the worst times, though. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah worry tends to go hand in hand, with panic and anxiety(and the side effects they cause). I use to get so angry about it for several reasons. What is this?(because for decades I didn’t know) Why was it happening? When will it stop? Will this ever stop? Why can’t I just have one day, hell, one minute of calm??? Why can’t I be normal? What is wrong with me?? Then angry because I thought it would always be that way, all the time. When I was diagnosed, it changed. I could then read about what was wrong. What could be done.

        I guess the biggest revelation for me was the realization that I wasn’t crazy. One of the effects/symptoms, like heart rate, breathing, vertigo, depression, headaches and the feeling of being crazy or needing to be locked away, are all symptoms/effects of anxiety and panic disorder, just to name a few.

        I just have an illness, like others have diabetes, I have bad nerves. Then I could form a plan of attack, if that makes sense. Mine is chemical, some days it just can’t be helped, nothing I can do. BUT knowing that makes it easier to deal with.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I try to talk kindly to my scared srlf..often when its really bad in the middle of the night I sing. Running doesnt work and acute anxiety feels unbearable and like dying. When I cant cry its worse. Often i feel i cant breathe at these times i let my breath out sometimes calling someone who will listen and not feak out helps.. i know how hard it feels ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂
      That’s interesting: I’ve never cried that much, and it’s frustrating because I often want to: I understand it’s an excellent release.
      Talking is wonderful: if you have a good friend who’s happy to listen, that’s like gold… because we need to let these things out, even if what we say makes little sense at times!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I always feel the tension of that kind of panic release when I cry. It makes me wonder if we hold on on some subtle level when we have a bad panic attack. But tears can be hard to release and reach a times. 🙂
        A good friend who will just listen is so invaluable and if we can just let all the mixed up feelings and thoughts out and they will just listen non judgementally that is the most sweet balm for our soul, in my experience and really, really helps. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes… emotion and anxiety have a strong but strange relationship(!)
        And I agree completely on the sweet balm of the non-judgemental friend. Nothing quite like it, I think. 🙂

        Like

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