'ME, YOU & I' I can't deny I'm missing you; I fear that my mind's gone missing. It's ran away to the pub on its own, Leaving me struggling like an oaf To connect thoughts with words. I can't deny I'm missing you; I can't tell you how much I enjoy Your wisdom, passion & artistry. Plus your flawed humanity That I share. I can't deny I'm missing you; I want to improve my articulation And general clarity of thought. 'Til I do, don't mistake quietness For disinterest. I can't deny I'm missing you; My favourite seasons will come again. Until they do, creativity must wait. But I am, at first and last, Still here.
As youths at school -- in what seems a whole lifetime ago, now, elderly fellow that I am -- we were sometimes asked by teachers what we wanted to be when we grew up. After two decades of being an adult and gracing a few arenas of employment, I'm still deciding. But this one goes beyond career or other signifiers of adulthood or tangible achievement: 'GROWING TOWARDS THE LIGHT' What do I want to be? I want to be better. I want to give out a smile Not expecting one back. I want to speak out Even though it might cost me. I want to personally make sure No-one feels left behind. I want to go thru a single day And not once feel despair. I want to recall my life's mistakes Without beating myself up for them. I want to look in the mirror And think: "Yeh... he's alright." Praying for miracles? Perhaps. But worth dreaming of, yes? What do I want to be? I want to be better.
'PATHWAY TO PEACE' Why so damn anxious? Think you're a big fat failure? Not giving enough? You feel left behind? Useless with a flabby mind? And no direction? If you can... relax. Things happen when they happen: To each a season. Don't seek approval: Our only judge and jury Is simply ourself. On the road of life We don't race anyone else: Move to your own beat.
'IN THE MIDST OF THE ECLIPSE' Foulness in the air. The heady aromas of awfulness. Bitterness surrounds. Dark days. Dreary days. Days of ice cold apathy. So? If you've any energy left at all? For fuck's sake: smile. Even if it's a bad one, Or a slightly embarrassed half-smile: If it has warmth in it, it'll do. Give out as many smiles as you can. Because, after all? For some people that you smile at? It will be the only warm thing They'll get in their life today. Be the pinprick of starlight; Be the stab of blazing light; The blazing light of sweet humanity Amid the freezing darkness. A single smile is a flame That sets souls and dreams alight.
'LEISURES' Sweet Easter weekend? A languid, reflective time; Believer or non-believer. Appreciating life; And what we love Or have loved. Four days? Four moods: Hopeful, hearty, Stressed and sad. These moods? Sometimes consecutive Occasionally concurrent. For now I'll be content To be inconsistent. Hot handful of friends; Many mirthful words, Thoughtful phrases, Delicious nonsense And a few small drops Of lusty Socratic wonder. Lashings of saucy cider; Whimsical whisky later: Drowning in the delight Of a balmy British spring. Days of jubilant joie de vivre; Heady laughter to drown out The steady hum of darkness. The final day begins: Time for WordPress? Not enough. Time to enjoy the company Of blogging chums? Not nearly enough. A most happy addict, me: Wanting more of my fix.
'FIVE IF'S' If you have suffered And truly know the suicidal pain Of gut-wrenching depression? Then you are a survivor. If people have hurt you And made you feel worthless But you know, deep down, you deserve better? Then you are a fighter. If your own problems Have made you hurt or overlook others But you're sorry and want to make amends? Then you are a good person. If panic has taken so much of your life away But you badly want it back And plan to one day kick anxiety's ass? Then you are a badass. If you know the pain of What some might call 'failure'. But you want you and your friends to do better? Then you are a winner. So... let's see? You're a survivor, a fighter, A good person, a badass, and a winner. Well, my friend... I'm proud to know you.
'LITTLE GIRL LOST' Locked out and alone; Nose pressed against the window. Shivering outside. Desperately dark; She simply wants to belong. Shivering inside. How long lasts the night? She can no longer tell time. Her tears? Long frozen. Spare a thought for her; She's all of us, at some point: Praying for the dawn.