WAKING THE VIVACITY

So what about January, mes amis?
This month's been awfully chaotic for me. 
Can't deny it.
[ Mostly circumstantial, though. ]
However -- I'm still optimistic. 
This month will be the worst month of 2O18.  
So there. 


'ONE OF TWELVE'

Talking in riddles?
Parading my woes? 
Speaking in a deep shade
Of sweet purple prose? 

Spending my own sweet time
Treading that fine line
Between self-expression
And self-obsession. 

Sweet January blues; 
"Dreary" is my situation.
But I'm not choosing
To spread the desolation. 

Today was a bastard
And tomorrow will be cold.
But the future? That's mine: 
I'll transmute it to gold. 

Blog me some blogging; 
Fight the good fight. 
Step by step upward
Towards joyous light.

 

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SERIOUSLY MOONLIT

As I'm in a contemplative(-ish) mood...


'TRANSMUNDANE'

He stands, alone.
He's learnt a great deal. 
But he's forgotten more. 
Yet he holds one thing true above all: 
The Fact That He Knows Nothing. 

If feeling too deeply
Magnifies the terrors  
Then at least life's bliss
Possesses the ability  
To loom large in his mind.

If he has a grown-up desire
It's to dance long in the moonlight
And in the starlight of Sirius; 
Hugging his own singular joy
As if it were his only child. 

So, until the Magic fades for good
And the light dies its natural death
He'll keep mind and spirit alive 
And try his best to remain
On the side of the Angels.

 

CELESTIAL CORRESPONDENCE

Dear Buffy the Blogger: 

-- You've not blogged (or read blogs) for a while? 
-- You're feeling bad about it? 

Well, don't worry. 
Here's how it is (just my view, y'understand, but then again, I'm bloody clever):  

-- Your absence stems from mind-fog. 
-- Your mind-fog stems from agony. 
-- Your agony stems from anxiety. 
-- Your anxiety is a result of fear, OCD, some depression, and (last but not least) continuous psychological abuse from those too physically close for comfort. 

Give yourself a break, will you? 

You've not lost your inner strength, and the following things will return in time: 

-- Calm.
-- Clarity. 
-- Self-regard. 
-- Blogging mojo. 
-- Outer strength. 

And, even better, when that blogging mojo returns, you'll be able to express your thoughts on what's happened during this bloody cruel August and, hopefully, be able to help someone else. 

No worries, matey... 
YOU. WILL. BE. FINE.

Sincerely, 
The Angel on your shoulder. X

 

WEDNESDAY RAPTURE?

Hmm, in a subtly romantic mood, eh Buffy? How peculiar. 
And it doesn't seem to have been the wine, either...

Anyway, it makes a refreshing change, preoccupied as I have been with anxiety and the wellbeing of chums recently. 

This has its genesis in an intriguing conversation with a lovely and inspirational lady in a beautiful country pub this lunchtime... sometimes the country pub days make the other days bearable [!] 


'ROMANTIX'

Let me see True Love:
The sweet nectar of one soul 
Poured into twin cups.

Grown ups? They settle.
The sane, sensible option: 
So I won't take it.  

I've settled before: 
It brought misery to all;
My heart not in it.

Love with all your might: 
The heart, mind, body and soul
Must all be adored. 

I'll love, unreserved: 
Immature yet absolute;
For that's who I am.

 

 

SOLE FLAME OF BEAUTY

'IN THE MIDST OF THE ECLIPSE'

Foulness in the air. 
The heady aromas of awfulness.
Bitterness surrounds. 
Dark days.
Dreary days. 
Days of ice cold apathy. 

So? 
If you've any energy left at all?

For fuck's sake: smile.

Even if it's a bad one,
Or a slightly embarrassed half-smile: 
If it has warmth in it, it'll do.

Give out as many smiles as you can. 
Because, after all? 
For some people that you smile at? 
It will be the only warm thing 
They'll get in their life today. 

Be the pinprick of starlight; 
Be the stab of blazing light;
The blazing light of sweet humanity 
Amid the freezing darkness.

A single smile is a flame
That sets souls and dreams alight.

LONG LOST WEEKEND

'LEISURES'

Sweet Easter weekend?

A languid, reflective time;
Believer or non-believer. 

Appreciating life;
And what we love
Or have loved. 

Four days? 
Four moods: 
Hopeful, hearty,
Stressed and sad. 

These moods? 
Sometimes consecutive
Occasionally concurrent.
For now I'll be content
To be inconsistent. 

Hot handful of friends; 
Many mirthful words,
Thoughtful phrases, 
Delicious nonsense
And a few small drops 
Of lusty Socratic wonder. 

Lashings of saucy cider;
Whimsical whisky later:
Drowning in the delight 
Of a balmy British spring.
Days of jubilant joie de vivre;
Heady laughter to drown out
The steady hum of darkness. 

The final day begins: 
Time for WordPress? 
Not enough. 
Time to enjoy the company
Of blogging chums? 
Not nearly enough. 
A most happy addict, me: 
Wanting more of my fix.

 

WELL, MY FRIEND…

'FIVE IF'S'

If you have suffered
And truly know the suicidal pain 
Of gut-wrenching depression?
Then you are a survivor. 

If people have hurt you 
And made you feel worthless
But you know, deep down, you deserve better?
Then you are a fighter. 

If your own problems
Have made you hurt or overlook others 
But you're sorry and want to make amends?
Then you are a good person. 

If panic has taken so much of your life away 
But you badly want it back
And plan to one day kick anxiety's ass?
Then you are a badass. 

If you know the pain of
What some might call 'failure'. 
But you want you and your friends to do better? 
Then you are a winner. 

So... let's see? 
You're a survivor, a fighter, 
A good person, a badass, and a winner. 
Well, my friend... I'm proud to know you.